A license to live- a rant
license to live
I was resplendent to go on vacation with my daughter in tow to the magical last frontier known as Alaska. I plotted, planned, organized and dreamed of what the vacation would be like. Little did I know, that it evolved into nothing of what I imagined and left me longing for the restful and spiritual journey that I anticipated, but I received exactly what I needed.
I originally was going off into the immense wilderness to find myself spiritually. Hoping to bring back wisdom to share with everyone. I was looking for Totems; symbols if you will, to show me signs and point me in the right direction. I did receive answers of validation and clarity on my expedition, but it also opened up a chasm of repressed emotions. Anger, guilty, failure, inadequacy, impatience, intolerance and hatred; all of these welling up through my solar plexus chakra and hitting me in the throat like a hot dagger. Because I know better, I recognized that all of these emotions were mirror reflections of myself and to not point the finger at anyone except myself.
We embarked on this trip during the Full Stag Moon, also known as the Full Buck Moon or the Full Thunder Moon, consequently for the deer and caribou growing new antlers during this time of year and the numerous thunderstorms. Native Americans used the Full Moons as a calendar for their year and named them accordingly. I always use the Full Moon to purge what is no longer of use to me personally in my life and to allow room for new experiences to enter my life during the New Moon that follows two weeks later. I comprehended internally that this could be a very intense time for me, especially since I would be at sea and the sea and her tides are controlled by the moon. Additionally, in Alaska, they experience two high tides and two low tides per day, unlike the usual one and one here on the East Coast where I live. It has been said that the moon and the tides have a huge impact on people’s emotions; when the tides are high, so are the emotions; when the tides are low, likewise. So imagine, two high and two low tides per day compounded with a Full Moon that draws out the crazy in anyone; not just water signs- it becomes a roller coaster of emotions. Combine that with the energy of other people that are in your presence and you have a whirly gig of expressive stew simmering and bubbling up all around you.
Now imagine for a moment that everything that is occurring around you was created and wished up by you. Yes, everything! It is the Law of Attraction. Everything that is happening in your reality was asked of by you to come to you and bring forth that experience and if you are not happy with your experience you just have to change your thoughts so that a newer and more cohesive experience can slide right in and bump out that contrasting experience. Sounds easy, does it not? Well, it is not for some. I have an easy time relaxing into my contrasts and going with the flow and following a path of least resistance the majority of the time, but for some reason, the tsunami of emotions this week has gotten the best of me.
Luckily for me, I was on an Abraham-Hicks Vortex of Attraction cruise through Alaska and the main purpose of my adventure. I purposely entered into this excursion to allow myself to be immersed in good vibe energy and to find clarity and validation for some of life’s big questions. Oh, I did get that, but I also opened myself up to parts of me that I had pushed down and repressed for a long time and I came out not feeling so great. What a blessing that is? Some of you reading this may think that statement is sheer craziness; why would anyone want bullshit flung into their face? It is the bullshit and the contrast that is flung at us that allows us to see and feel what we do not want in our lives and allows us to make better choices. How does your life look and how does it feel? Don’t like it? You can change it? You get to create the life that you want. “You have permission because it is YOUR life”, a friend reminded me last night. “Take the path of least resistance”, she said and Abraham said 100 times last week. I can hear my friend saying now “Do you need a Clue by 4 upside the head before you get this simple and easy act”? Why is it that we make life harder on ourselves by being in constant resistance? It is because we are conditioned this way and all we have to do is change our conditioning.
I know how I want my life to look. I have been working on it for, well, my whole life. I have dumped and purged what no longer serves me and it is a continuing process. We are never done the cycle of purging, reemerging, acquiring, tweaking, and aligning. It is the ebb and flow of the tide, it is life.
This trip did provide a bevy of lessons though and opened my eyes to details that I was not willing to see. Factors that I ignored for way too long because they were too ugly to face and at the time, I was taking the path of least resistance, only to find that in my self-perceived kindness, I was causing internal resistance to my true nature. I was fucking up my Zen in order to be kind. Allowing pretenders of a higher vibe to be in my realm and reside in my reality. People that talk the talk, yet cannot walk the walk. It is this contrast to my path and my vibe that is allowing me to purposely make some bigger changes to my reality. I am no longer going to coddle situations for the sake of “being kind” being non-judgmental; this is my life and Abraham-Hicks has given me a license to live it.